Monday, May 9, 2011

Teaching What Matters...Trans-parently!

Dear Ladies,

Who knows our children better?  Why do I forget that I do? I am their mom. My children are not toddlers anymore.  The communication between my children and I can be deep and infinite.

When I look at my children I can see their character and some of it is not good.  They learn that from me...after all I am with them 24/7.   If there are areas of Diligence, Charitableness, Loyalty, Usefulness, Purposefulness, Faithfulness, Truthfulness, or Selfless and Sacrificial hearts, these are wonderful qualities for a family to rejoice in.

If Christ is the reason for these characteristics, then we will grow deep in our realtuonships and the result is glory to our King.

If the reason is not for our dear Savior, it should be.

We are not to malign the word of God with wrong behavior.  We do!  I know I do.  For self pride still longs to live in my members and have its way at all cost at times.

All this to say...Can't I help my children in this area?  Yes!   I have God's wonderful and effective word.

If there is an area in my child's life I want to help them with, I must examine myself first.  So as not to be a hypocrite to the watching eyes and ears of my precious children,  I must confess my weak areas to my children and set an example of setting a course for victory with scripture in one hand and my heart for Christ in the other.  How else will they know what is happening in my mind and heart if I am not willing to be transparent about my weakness in the first place.

Then I can ask for prayer.  This is a wonderful and humble process to allow my children to pray for me.

In all this, I am setting an example.  One they can follow when I take great care in approaching them with an area they may need to consider in their lives. There are so many role models but few that live so dramatically different and humble enough to admit it.  We need to be the kind of heroes of the faith our children can see in living color outside of the Bible.  Ephesians 4:29 states "Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Our children say and do things in our midst that can make us upset, angry or even unjust.  I am convicted the whole time I am upset.  Frustrated with a child and there the Holy Spirit is gently  convicting me over my method or tongue.  I come to the conclusion that self still lives and has not died and trusted God to grow my children.  I can only plant and water, but God does the growing! If I do my part, do I trust Him with the outcome...what ever that will be.  My frustration is clearly a sign that at that moment I don't.

The truth of Ephesians 4:30-32 dwell richly in my mind and bridle my tongue. It says "And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.  Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.  And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you."

Convicting!!  But as a mother, I want to reach the heart of my children  the way God would like me to do it!   Then, they can see how great a God we have.  Our God loves us with a passionate love.  I want to show my children that kind of love for His name sake.

Does this mean there are no consequences?  No, may it never be...Consequences have there place when grace is cheapened and taken for granted.  But if we are full of the grace of God, will find the hearts of our children sooner than punishment can even achieve.  The principals of the New Testament are loaded with grace, love and mercy.  The power of love and mercy is like placing coals on the head of someone who knows their due punishment. A pardon is what we received from our Savior on the Cross.

If I know my kids.  Really see their weakness and strengths, I can help them.  I can purpose to teach a matter diligently in a way that pleases the Lord.  This may take time.  Weeks of instruction on a single purpose to help the child understand the principals found in the situation.  God is that patient with us when we are lazy and weak to change or cut something out of our lives.  And when they or even I fail....we have Christ!

But for the grace of God go I...

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